It is really funny to see how many people think that my French is better than their English, although it really clearly and objectively, without any modesty is not.

French has the great property that it allows you to pretend that you actually speak it quite well if (i) you have a good pronunciation and (ii) you know about 50 to 100 colloquial expressions and sounds.

E.g., never pronounce the “oui” for yes as you learned it in school. The high-pitched “ee” sounds at the end is to be avoided at all costs and must be replaced by a sound similar to the German “ä”, as in the English “rabbit”. Also make sure to use “truc” (meaning “thing” in colloquial French) for every noun which you don’t know. And don’t even think about constructing a phrase such as “I’m not sure. Let me think about it.”. Just say “J’ai pas.”.

With a few simple rules like that it’s fairly easy to generate sequences of acoustic patterns which sound like authentic French.

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